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I have seen a number of people here in community discussion talking about success and frustration at not reaching certain goals.
I just wanted to share some personal things that I have been through that might help with perspective.
8 years ago I was sitting in a crack house, high as can be, surrounding by shady characters. At 1.68m tall I weighed about 50kgs. I had a broken nose and 2 black eyes, with bruises all over my body, compliments from the one I loved at the time.
I believed that the end was near. I couldn't get off drugs, I couldn't get my life straight. I couldn't get the man I loved to stop abusing me.
I felt like I was not enough. Not enough of anything.
Think of the lowest thing you think a person could do to get hold of drugs? Well I've probably done it.
I have been at death's door and I have been in hell.
On the 2nd August I will be 8 years clean. It has not been an easy journey for me in any way. I have had to work through horrible memories, through things that have been done to me and things that I have done to other people.
Then when I was 2 years clean I fell pregnant with my long distance boyfriend in a very new relationship (3 months) and I cried buckets. I felt like my world was only just starting to come right and now I am in trouble again.
I thought my new boyfriend would treat me like the rubbish I truly believed I was, cast me aside and leave me to fend for myself and a baby on my own. I felt like I couldn't even look after myself yet, how would I cope?
I called my best friend and before I could tell her my news she told me she had cancer of the colon and she was going into hospital NOW to have her colon removed.
That kinda puts things in perspective doesn't it?
My biggest problem was that the miracle of life was given to me, yes a little unexpectedly sure, but it was still a miracle wasn't it? And my closest friend has been told that they are going to try and remove her colon successfully and hope that the cancer has not spread. She was 34 at the time.
By the time my daughter was born I was married to the father, my best friend had her operation successfully, been told it had spread to lymph cancer and had months and months of gruelling chemotherapy and then given the all clear.
I am now today on the verge of being 8 years clean from drugs and alcohol. I am 9 months free from smoking cigarettes. I am a mom of 2 absolutely amazing children. I have a husband that loves me dearly and has never shouted at me once. He looks after me in all ways, well except doing the dishes and cleaning... we fight over that... but that's ok.
I have my own business. I work at home online in the mornings and then I fetch my kids at lunch time, we come home and eat, play and watch tv. My husband comes home every night straight after work because he wants to, he is a family man.
We are happy, we are financially independent and we have love.
Do you think this came easily? NO. I have worked my ass off every single day to achieve what I have now.
So don't look at other people and think they found success easily, or that they are "lucky".
One of the most important things I have learned over the years is to stop with the "I'll be happy when...." mentality. As soon as you have that, you set another goal and you will only be happy when you achieve that goal.
If you are unhappy today, sit down, write a gratitude list and realize what you DO have right now and remember to be grateful and happy.
Yes work towards your goals of course, but please be happy and grateful every day for what you have.
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EliteWriter
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